Saturday, January 12, 2013

nino taklupa 22/12 jam6.10pm tapi.....

kaklong, nino sentiasa ingat tarikh 22/12...kaklong beberapa kali ajak nino pegi kubur mama tapi.....buat masa ni nino belum kuat nak pegi ziarah kubur mama sebab kubur ap ada sebelah mama.



I hate being alone.
I cry easily.
I get sad easily.
Being alone makes me more vulnerable.
I cant be tough.
I cant pretend to be strong, like usual.
I hate myself for being weak.

Rindu mama. And ap.
Last pergi raya haritu.
Its December already.
This year its gonna be 4 years. A very sad 4 years.
Nak sgt pergi kubur mama dgn ap. Especially masa 22 December tu.
But I dont know how. I dont know how to go there.

Well, when I get my license, I'll go by myself.
Takkan menyusahkan sesiapa. Thats for sure.
I just have to wait for my license to be done.
But I really hope I could go on 22 December.

I missed her. Though I couldnt talk to her. She wont be listening.
I know she's there. She's not really there. But her grave is. 
Its very hard. Not being able to see her. To talk to her. To hear her. To just be with her.
She couldnt be here when I need her. I've been so ego when she was still with me.
I never really did say that I love her. And there'll never be any chance to say it again.
Its painful to watch others. With their mum. With their family. And comparing it to mine.
I know its not good. Its fate. Its written that this is how my life would be. I'm just sad.  And I miss her.

I just miss her. Thats all.

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